Ultratart: It's Got Bite

Walk Like a You-Know-What

So, Egypt is amazing. I rode on a camel, in a boat, and a hot air balloon, a subway, several taxis, a bunch of planes, several Heathrow trams, and one slightly mangy horse. It was great.

Dear Quicken

If you could explain to me why I CAN NOT get the checking account balance I have DOWNLOADED FROM MY BANK to match up with the ACTUAL BALANCE THE BANK KNOWS I HAVE, I would LOVE THAT.

Thanks so much!

Love,

Jessica

I May Have Mentioned This Before...

...but I can't remember. I think I have. But that's just too bad, you'll have to hear it again. Cecily was talking about only children and imaginary friends, which reminded me of this. Because my sister and I are so far apart in age, we're sort of like BOTH only children, in a way. And I was the only child, grandchild AND great-grandchild on both sides for 14 years. So I don't have a problem being the center of attention and I demand lots of fussing over me on my birthdays, is what I am saying. I also think this is one of the reasons I am so good at keeping myself entertained. I am hardly ever actually bored. HowEVER, I was also entertained in my youth by two imaginary friends. Well, not exactly. One was my imaginary younger brother, Miltie. Miltie was a pain in the neck. But not as big a pain in the neck as my imaginary husband, Ben Mountain. Ben Mountain was a total layabout. He was unemployed. He laid on the sofa all day while I did all the work. Bear in mind that I was like four at the time I thought this up. My Dad was not then, nor never has been, a layabout. I have no idea where I came up with this scenario but in retrospect, I have no idea how the adults in my life managed to suppress their giggling about this in my prescence. But I do appreciate that in retrospect.

Ah, Ben Mountain. He WAS charming, as I recall. I wonder what he's up to now...

The Internet Is Magic

So, Jen and I got to talking today about the Young Author's Club, which we were both in during elementary school. I was telling her about how my poetry book got all the way to the finals in 5th grade, but was beaten by a classmate of mine in the end, and that she was tragically killed a few years later, after I'd moved away. So I got to poking around on the internet -- don't even ask me why -- and it turns out, rumors of her death were greatly exaggerated. She is totally alive (her name was -- um, and remains -- very unusual, and Jen did some fancy PI-work to double check her info), and actually very successful. I can't even believe it. I can't remember who told us she was dead, but it was a totally reliable source, so I have NO IDEA how the story turned so dramatic. Needless to say, I'm pretty stoked that her story didn't take such a tragic turn. Twenty years ago, I never would have discovered this unless I'd run into her at the market.